DMV + 3.5 month old

aka, how I spend my winter break.

Currently, there is 1 week separating me from J-Term (short term) and then spring semester and then graduation.

So, like all good moms (or at least crappy moms playing at being good), I’m rushing to get errands done. Good news: I have a new car and it runs and it’s red! Bad news: it’s a minivan, so now I have a mom car. But, I named it Rubina after the red dragon I had created in my mind for me to ride when I was a kid and read Eragon for the first time. I am the Mother of Dragons after all.

Anyway, because I’m the Mother of Dragons, I like to attempt the impossible. To quote Han Solo, I never ask that question until after I’ve done it.

Time: early morning. Place: DMV. Scenario: Plate transfer from defunct Jetta to Rubina. Characters: Me, 3.5 month old Crow, several DMV officials.

By the time I pull into the Expectant Mothers & Families With Small Children parking spot, I’ve already called the city Treasurer to sort out the property tax mix-up. It’s rainy and miserable out. I get out of the car and begin wrapping my nice woven wrap around me because by the gods I am NOT about to hold my baby for however long the wait at the DMV is.

A security officer is staring at me as I do it. I’m weirded out, but, whatever. Then he comes outside and tells me I’m in a police only parking spot. I double-check the signs: nope, the police officer spot is next to me, I’m in the right one. I smile and say no, I’m not. He again (without looking at the signs, say I am. I proceed to get Crow out of the car and start tying her in the wrap. I explain that I’m in a spot for families with small children and this is my child and she is small. The officer stares. I shut the door, flash a grin, lock my car, and stride past.

The check-in lady informs me there’s still a stop by the treasurer. She issues me a ticket anyway, I sit down, and call the treasurer. They call my number whilst I’m on the phone, but I dutifully ignore it and continue trying to get my stop removed since I have the confirmation number. The treasurer’s office is surprisingly polite and helpful and they get it taken care of. I go back to check in, I get back in the queue, I go to the window. Things proceed smoothly. I gather up my stuff and head to the bathroom to change Crow before I leave.

The DMV–the same place that has a dedicated parking spot for pregnant women and little kids–does not have a changing table in their bathroom. I walk out and glare a little at the security officer as I leave. It’s still raining. I open the door opposite the car seat, and proceed to change her diaper. It’s poopy. It’s cloth. I left the changing pad at home. Because of course I did. I take it off, I wipe her up, and then proceed to prep the new diaper (because who would prep it first? I mean, that’s ridiculous). She pees. Because of course she does. I take a wipe and clean her up. I go back to the diaper and bring it toward her. She pees even more. Because of course she does. I pull off her now peed on shirt, wipe her off, wipe down the (thankfully) leather seat, and swiftly encase her in a diaper. Achievement unlocked!

I buckle her in the carseat, grab the plates, and the screwdriver. It’s still raining. I discover that Rubina’s screws are Phillips head. I brought a flat-head. Because of course I did. Not willing to be deterred, I manage to attach the plates. The first security guard calls over another security guard and they come outside and are looking at me and talking to each other. I go to get in the car. They come to look at the sign and back at me. Pissed at the idea that they think I parked there when I shouldn’t, I get out and pointedly go open up the door by Crow to “check” that she’s buckled in correctly. Then I leave.

However, I did all that, set up an appointment for inspection and oil change, and went to the bank and got home before 1pm. And even got my daughter down for a nap. And got a nap myself. And then folded all the clean laundry. Just took a load of Crow laundry out of the dryer, put my flannel sheets in the dryer, and a load of our clothes in the washer. Waiting for that round to finish so I can put diapers in before bed.

I believe in 6 impossible things before bed?


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